How to Stop Overthinking: A Therapist’s Guide for Perfectionists

If You Can’t Stop Overthinking, This Isn’t a Personal Failure

If you’re searching for how to stop overthinking, chances are you’re not someone who lacks insight — you’re someone whose mind never seems to turn off. Overthinking is especially common in anxious perfectionists and high achievers who feel pressure to get things “right,” even when life looks successful on the outside.

What Overthinking Actually Is (And Why “Just Stop” Doesn’t Work)

Overthinking isn’t the same as being thoughtful or analytical.

Overthinking shows up as:

• Mentally replaying conversations to check if you said “the wrong thing”
• Delaying decisions because you want to make the right one
• Ruminating after success instead of enjoying it
• Feeling anxious after the situation has already passed
• Needing certainty before you act

At its core, overthinking is a safety strategy.
Your mind is trying to protect you from:

• Making mistakes
• Being judged
• Failing publicly
• Letting people down

The problem?
The strategy worked once — and now it’s running your life.

Why Overthinking Is So Common in High Achievers

If you identify as a perfectionist, people pleaser, or high performer, overthinking likely developed because it helped you succeed.

Overthinking often grows out of:

• High expectations (internal or external)
• Early praise for being “responsible” or “mature”
• Environments where mistakes felt costly
• Being rewarded for vigilance, not ease

Your mind learned:

“If I think everything through, I’ll stay safe.”

But over time, this turns into chronic anxiety, exhaustion, and self-doubt — even when nothing is technically “wrong.”

This is why so many professionals experience high-functioning anxiety without realizing it.

The Hidden Cost of Overthinking and Anxiety

Most people focus on how uncomfortable overthinking feels. Fewer people talk about what it quietly takes from you.

Overthinking can:

• Drain your energy and focus
• Erode confidence in your own judgment
• Make rest feel unproductive
• Keep you stuck in indecision
• Create emotional distance in relationships
• Turn success into pressure instead of satisfaction

You may look calm and capable on the outside — while feeling mentally exhausted on the inside.

How to Stop Overthinking (What Actually Helps)

Here’s the part most advice gets wrong:
Trying to stop thoughts makes them louder.

The goal isn’t to eliminate overthinking — it’s to change how much power your thoughts have.

In therapy, especially approaches grounded in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we focus on three shifts:

1. Learn to Separate Thoughts From Truth

Thoughts feel urgent, but they aren’t facts.

“I’m going to mess this up”
“I shouldn’t have said that”
“They probably think I’m incompetent”

These are mental events — not instructions.

When you stop treating every thought as something to solve, anxiety loosens its grip.

2. Interrupt the Thought Loop (Not the Thought Itself)

Overthinking thrives on repetition.

Rather than arguing with your mind, therapy helps you:

• Notice when you’re stuck in a loop
• Label the pattern (“this is overthinking”)
• Gently redirect attention back to the present moment

This isn’t avoidance — it’s skillful disengagement.

3. Rebuild Trust in Yourself

At the heart of overthinking is self-distrust.

Therapy helps you reconnect with:

• Your values
• Your intuition
• Your ability to tolerate uncertainty

Confidence doesn’t come from perfect thinking — it comes from learning you can handle discomfort without spiraling.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence-based approach shown to reduce anxiety and overthinking. Learn more at Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACT research).

When Overthinking Is a Sign It’s Time for Therapy

If you’re searching for how to stop overthinking, it may be because:

• You’re tired of managing everything alone
• You’ve outgrown coping strategies that once worked
• You want clarity without losing your edge
• You’re ready for relief, not just insight

Therapy isn’t about fixing you.
It’s about helping you relate to your mind in a way that creates calm, confidence, and balance.

Therapy for High Achievers Who Want Peace — Not Perfection

At Elevé Therapy & Co, we specialize in working with high-achieving adults who struggle with anxiety, overthinking, and burnout — even when life looks “successful” on the outside.

Our work is grounded in evidence-based approaches like ACT, with a human, thoughtful lens that honors both ambition and well-being.

You don’t need to become less driven to feel better.
You just need support that understands how your mind actually works.

Ready to Stop Overthinking and Start Feeling More Like Yourself?

If overthinking is keeping you stuck, therapy can help you regain clarity and ease — without losing what makes you you.

Or explore how we work with anxiety and perfectionism in high-achieving adults.