At Elevé Therapy & Co, we help high-achieving adults understand what’s driving perfectionism and build a steadier, more flexible way forward.
We commonly work with the following forms of perfectionism in high achievers:
01. Achievement-Oriented Perfectionism
Do you hyperfocus on your academics, career, or professional success? Maybe you have an immense fear of failure and connect your self-worth to your external achievements. Or maybe you're struggling with burnout due to your impossibly high standards.
Those who experience achievement-oriented perfectionism often resonate with the relentless pursuit of professional success. It's like there is a motor inside that never stops moving. You feel like you need to go, go, go, and the idea of stopping or even slowing down can feel threatening.
Therapy for achievement-oriented perfectionism focuses on:
- untangling your internal worth from external validation or external successes
- further exploring the negative consequences associated with working too much or working too hard
- learning how to set realistic goals that honor your desire to achieve excellence without feeling consumed by perfectionism
- treating the underlying mental health concerns that may be exacerbating achievement-oriented perfectionistic tendencies
02. Appearance-Oriented Perfectionism
Do you feel excessively preoccupied by your body image or overall physical appearance? Maybe you worry about being rejected due to how you look. There may also be co-occurring struggles with disordered eating or body dysmorphia.
Therapy for apperance-oriented perfectionism focuses on:
- exploring negative thought patterns about your physical appearance and connecting how they impact your well-being
- cultivating a deeper appreciation for your body and what it can do rather than how it looks
- strengthening coping skills to manage stress/anxiety around your physical appearance
03. Health-Oriented Perfectionism
It's important to look after your physical health, but what happens when trying to take care of yourself feels like an obsession with wellness or fitness? Do you experience anxiety when you deviate from a specific exercise or eating routine? Do you relate to struggles surrounding orthorexia or compulsive exercise tendencies?
People with health-oriented perfectionism spend excessive time and energy trying to achieve optimal physical well-being. While it may seem like a worthwhile pursuit, it may leave little room for making mistakes, being human, or even accepting things beyond your control.
Therapy for health-oriented perfectionism focuses on:
- exploring core beliefs contributing to health-oriented perfectionism and understanding the emotional roots that may be creating the desire for control
- practicing more self-compassion in everyday life
- enhancing psychological flexibility, allowing you to deviate from your routine or rules when needed
- cultivating healthier coping mechanisms for managing underlying emotions or needs
04. Socially-Prescribed Perfectionism
Do you feel like your worth is largely contingent on you meeting the high standards of others? Maybe you have been criticized or rejected by others for not maintaining a certain status quo. Or maybe you're associated with a workplace or professional environment that has no problem setting unrealistic expectations for its employees, even if it's at the cost of their mental health.
Socially-prescribed perfectionism is a systemic issue that may be deeply embedded in cultural norms, societal structures, and family values. If a certain group prioritizes success as its top priority, there tends to be a hyperfocus on productivity over individual wellness.
Therapy for socially-prescribed perfectionism focuses on:
- unpacking core beliefs about what it means to achieve perfection for other people
- learning how to slowly shift away from external validation into more self-acceptance
- identifying when and where healthy boundaries may need to be discerned
- identifying and tending to people-pleasing tendencies
- breaking free from all-or-nothing thinking to combat perfectionism
FAQs
Perfectionism is complex and stems from various environmental and genetic factors. With that, it's unlikely that one specific variable causes perfectionism. Instead, some of the main risk factors include:
- childhood trauma, including emotional neglect
- having one or more caregivers who were hyper focused on success
- cultural norms associated with high standards and a strong work ethic
- certain types of competitive environments (i.e. rigorous schools, competitive sports)
- low self-esteem
- co-occurring anxiety disorders
- experiencing love that felt conditional as a child, having parents with perfectionistic tendencies, living in a culture where high standards are the norm
Many perfectionists tend to have high self-awareness. They generally recognize that they hold themselves to high standards, and they know they don't like making mistakes. Many are also overly self-critical in numerous settings, including at home, work, school, and in relationships.
However, you may not think there's anything problematic with your thought patterns or behavior. It may really seem like you "have" to be this way in order to get things done or secure approval. Even if you're holding yourself to unattainable standards, you may reason that, if others are doing it, there's no reason you shouldn't do it, too.
With that, perfectionism can also be subtle. For example, some people chronically procrastinate. While this may not seem like a symptom of perfectionism, it can be. If you're so afraid of getting it wrong, you struggle to start something at all. Perfectionism can also show up in other avoidance behaviors. You may, for instance, struggle to commit to relationships because you're focused on finding the "perfect" person or the timing being perfect.
First things first- absolutely nothing is wrong with you! Perfectionism is an adaptive mechanism that's rooted in good intentions. We're all wired to want to succeed and improve our chances of survival- this is some of the essence of what it means to be human.
Unfortunately, perfectionism comes with some steep costs. It can truly feel like nothing you do is good enough, no matter how hard you try. The fear of failure or rejection may be holding you back at work or in your relationships. You may also become so obsessed with personal growth that you can't relax or enjoy the present moment.
Furthermore, perfectionistic behaviors are personally demanding and often exacerbate mental health issues like depression, anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders, and more. When there's a constant need to do or have more, it's hard to enjoy what you already have.
Therapy helps you understand how perfectionism developed, what it protects you from, and what it costs you.
Together, we work on shifting rigid standards, reducing avoidance and overcontrol, and changing the way you relate to mistakes and self-criticism. Many clients also want reassurance that they won’t lose their edge—therapy supports sustainable success, not lower standards.
Our clinicians primarily integrate ACT and Humanistic therapy, alongside research-informed self-compassion work.
This combination helps clients build psychological flexibility, soften the inner critic, and make values-based changes that feel sustainable.
Perfectionism Therapy in San Diego and Across California
Elevé Therapy & Co is a telehealth psychotherapy practice specializing in perfectionism, burnout, and high-functioning anxiety in high achievers.
Perfectionism can become fused with identity. Therapy helps you understand what it is protecting, loosen the grip of impossible standards, and build a more sustainable way to pursue your goals without sacrificing your well-being.