Anxious Attachment Style Quiz – Find Your Relationship Pattern

Welcome! If you’re here, you may be curious whether your experiences in romantic relationships align with an anxious attachment style. Understanding attachment styles and how they affect emotional intimacy is crucial for creating lasting, fulfilling relationships.

I’m Erica Basso, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT 114828), and I specialize in helping adults navigate anxiety, perfectionism, and attachment challenges in romantic relationships. This quiz is designed to help you identify if you fall into the anxious attachment style and offer insights on building more secure connections.

Take this free, 5-minute parent attachment style quiz to discover and explore how your childhood experiences with your parents or primary caregivers may be influencing your adult relationships.

Who This Quiz Is For

Do you find that uncertainty or emotional unavailability in relationships triggers you? Do you crave closeness but feel it’s never fully met? If so, this quiz may help you identify patterns of anxious attachment.

People with this attachment style often:

• Desire high levels of intimacy
• Struggle being single
• Seek validation or attention in dating
• Experience jealousy or fear of rejection in committed relationships

By understanding your attachment patterns, you can communicate your needs better, manage conflict effectively, and foster healthier relationships.

How Accurate Is This Quiz?

This quiz offers valuable insights into your emotional patterns but is meant as a guide rather than a definitive diagnosis. Use it as a starting point for self-reflection, and consider professional guidance to explore your attachment style further.

Take the anxious attachment quiz ↓

Indicate how often the following statements apply to you in romantic relationships:

1. How often do you worry about or feel rejected in your relationship?

A. Frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

2. When in a relationship do you have a hard time spending alone time? Or do you have a hard time being single?

A. Frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

3. How often do you seek validation or reassurance in your relationship?

A. Frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

4. How often have you been called clingy or needy?

A. Frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

5. How often do you exhibit jealousy?

A. Frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

6. How often do you feel your partner does not wish to be as close as you would like him/her to be?

A. Frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

7. How often do you notice small fluctuations in your partner’s moods and actions?

A. Frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

8. How often do you get upset and experience negative emotions in your relationship?

A. Frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

9. How much of your emotional energy do relationships consume?

A. Frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

10. Do you ever regret the things you’ve said in the heat of a moment?

A. Frequently

B. Sometimes

C. Rarely

Interpreting your results

If you answered “A” for most of the questions you might fall into the anxious attachment type. Scoring mostly A’s shows that you crave closeness and are concerned about being abandoned, which can lead to taking small changes in your partner’s interactions with you overly personally, which an create negative emotions in the relationship, hallmarks of this attachment style. It’s important that this quiz is meant to serve as a guide while exploring attachment styles and not definitive answers.

Signs of Anxious Attachment

Adults with this attachment style often experience:

• Fear of Abandonment: Constant worry about being left or unloved
• Need for Reassurance: Seeking validation frequently
• Sensitivity to Partner’s Actions: Reading into moods and behaviors
• Difficulty Being Alone: Feeling incomplete without a partner
• Overthinking: Assuming worst-case scenarios
• Clinginess: Staying close through constant contact
• Difficulty Trusting: Struggling to fully trust expressions of love

FAQs about anxious attachment

How do you know if you have an anxious attachment style?

This style, often called “preoccupied” in child and adult attachment theory, manifests through specific behaviors and feelings with others. Here are some signs that might indicate you fall into this style.

Abandonment: You frequently worry they will leave you or stop loving you, even without concrete reasons.

Need for Reassurance: You often seek constant reassurance and validation to feel secure.

High Sensitivity to The Other Person’s Actions: You are highly sensitive to their moods and actions, often interpreting them as signs of their true feelings about you.

Difficulty Being Alone: You struggle with being alone and may feel incomplete without their presence or attention.

Overthinking and Anxiety: You tend to overthink situations, typically assuming the worst-case scenarios.

Clinginess or Neediness: You might exhibit clingy or needy behavior, trying to stay close to them in order to maintain a connection through constant contact.

Rejection: You fear rejection and may go to great lengths to avoid it, sometimes compromising your own needs or values.

Difficulty Trusting: Even with reassurance, you might struggle to fully trust their expression of love and commitment.

If you can relate to many of these the majority of the time in your own life and relationships, then it may be helpful to consider working with a licensed therapist to better explore and understand root causes of your attachment style and learn ways to self soothe and communicate feelings and needs more effectively.

Who is anxious attachment style attracted to?

These individuals are often attracted to avoidant attachment styles due to a combination of psychological and emotional factors that create a compelling, though often dysfunctional, dynamic.

Anxious-Avoidant Couples: These individuals frequently find themselves attracted to relationships with individuals with avoidant attachment. Avoidant partners tend to be emotionally distant or less responsive, which can intensify the anxious person’s fears of abandonment and their need for reassurance. This dynamic often results in a push-pull relationship, where the anxious individual pursues closeness and the avoidant individual seeks distance.

The inconsistent availability of an individual with avoidant attachment can constantly activate the anxious individual’s attachment system, keeping them in a heightened state of alertness and longing. This activation can create a strong sense of urgency and passion, making the bond feel more intense and significant. Anxious individuals might have negative self-perceptions, such as feeling unworthy or unlovable. Being with an avoidant partner who confirms these perceptions by being emotionally unavailable can feel like a confirmation of their beliefs, even though it’s unhealthy.

The Ideal Partner for Anxious Attachment

A partner with a secure attachment style can help:

• Provide consistent emotional support
• Communicate openly and honestly
• Offer reassurance while encouraging independence
• Foster a stable, predictable sense of safety

Learning to recognize secure behaviors in others can improve emotional regulation, conflict resolution, and self-confidence.

Final Thoughts

Anxious attachment is often rooted in early childhood experiences but can be managed with self-awareness and professional guidance. Understanding your triggers and what you need in a partner is key to fostering healthier relationships.

In therapy, I help clients:

• Recognize triggers and vulnerabilities
• Understand patterns in dating and relationships
• Identify secure attachment behaviors in partners
• Develop skills for self-soothing and healthy communication

If you’re looking to understand your attachment style better and cultivate healthier connection, our team can provide personalized guidance and practical strategies to help you achieve emotional security and fulfillment. Reach out to schedule your complimentary consultation to see if we would be a good fit.